Hekker: Author, Ex-Mayor, Comedienne

Terry Martin Hekker was born in Brooklyn with five siblings. In 1941, her family moved north to the "country," and her father ran the Bear Mountain Inn in the Hudson Valley.

In the mid-50s, Terry met Jack, who went on to attend Georgetown Law and become a judge in Nyack. They lived in a Victorian on Piermont Avenue.

Terry wrote her first book, Ever Since Adam and Eve, in 1980. On their fortieth wedding anniversary, Jack asked for a divorce. In 2009, Terry wrote her second book—Disregard First Book.

--

Patch: This apartment is gorgeous, how long have you lived here?

Hekker: I have owned the building for 26 years. I am hopefully soon building a rooftop garden... someday. Right now I have my garden out the window. I climb out the window to water my plants. I am very lucky we found this place; the building is about 130-years-old.

Where is life taking you lately?

I have been travelling and spend time with my family at my son’s home on the Jersey Shore during the summer. I also just returned from Istanbul and Athens where I travelled with 18 friends.

Are you writing?

Yes, I am. I have always written. My last New York Times article appeared in the Style Section in 2006. I thought it would cause a little stir; it caused a tsunami. I received so much mail and e-mail! The article went around the world... I later wrote my second book, Disregard First Book, as a result of this piece.

Also as a result of the article, I now write for foreign newspapers.

How often do you write your blog?

About once a month. I still get a lot of mail from my postings. “My husband just left me and a friend gave me your book.” Stories like this. So many stories.

What are your articles about lately?

"Swedish Hollywood Wives" is a big reality show in Switzerland. I was asked recently to write an American view [about that]. Then Tiger Woods acted up and I was asked to write about that. I also write for The London Times, Daily Mail and El Mercurio, mostly about women’s issues.

Do you speak with the women who seek advice?

Absolutely, I just spoke to one woman last week whose 81-year-old husband left her a few years ago. He wanted to live on a boat. He started taking Viagra and became the Casanova of the marina that housed their boat. One day, she came to the boat and her husband had sailed away with everything they owned. Her divorce only recently was settled.

When you wrote Disregard First Book, what was one of your favorite memories?

I was giving small lectures at women’s groups, libraries, etc. I visited a small group in a suburb of Boston. After I spoke and the women asked many questions, the women decided to meet every Sunday night. This was wonderful—they needed each other.

How did you feel about the Helen Hayes Theatre closing several Years Ago? You were very involved in that theater.

I used to house lots of the actors and actresses here in my downstairs apartment. The last to come was Olympia Dukakis—we had wonderful times.

I used to work there, it was a big part of my life. I really miss it.

On middle-age:

Many middle-age people are terrified of getting old. They visualize being tied to a wheelchair, drooling.

Everyone makes fun of old people. One of my favorite lines is what they call old people in England: “Twirlys,” because at every event they get there too early.

On old-age:

The only hard part of age is that so many of your friends are leaving the building. One of my best friends, .

My other best friend Elaine Stritch is opening again at the Carlyle in the fall and she plays Alec Baldwin’s mother in "30 Rock." Elaine has always been very good to me. She is pure energy.

Other than that, it is the best time of my life! No responsibilities, no alarm clock. It is liberating.

Is there a new book coming?

I am working on something. It’s about stages of life. I have learned a lot. My working title right now is Listen to Grandma.

What is your favorite line?

An old lady told me this years ago and it has helped my children and grandchildren many times to understand people. "You cannot get pizza at a Chinese restaurant."

--

Read about Terry and her recent blogs on her website.